I Have A Strong Testimony

Kingdom's Keys

Hello dear reader,

 

Know that it is not by accident that you come to this page. There is something very powerful I feel compelled to write. I know that this will bless you as it greatly blessed me. I almost didn’t write it, but a wonderful FB friend told me that ” Our testimonies are not ours, they are meant to be shared.”

 

There was a time that I did not pray or go to Church. I lived my life day to day with the cares of this world. Numb to the feelings of others and consumed with my life and only my life. Now I cannot even imagine going a day without constant prayerful communication to God in Jesus’s name. I came fully to Jesus Christ in 2003. It seemed purely accidental. But it wasn’t…I was sad…very sad…and I uttered a prayer to God, which I wrote in my diary. It wasn’t even a week later that I read a book on a man that had memories of Heaven. That book too came by accident. I went to the library to get books on psychology and that book almost popped out at me. I read it skeptically and by the time I was done I knew it was all true. I believed in God and Jesus…and had a testimony that I told my parents as a child, but they just shrugged it off. The man in this book spoke of the testimony I had as a child. I cannot express the joy. I ran throughout the house exclaiming , ” IT was REAL!” over and over.

 

Oh my the love that I felt inside was amazing! My faith increased by 150%. I forgave whom ever wronged me. I repented of all my sins, confessing them one by one. Going all the way back to my childhood days, I confessed and turned from them – one by one. The confidence I had in Jesus Christ and Our Heavenly Father was healing. It made me free, feeling like I would sprout wings and fly. He loves me and if He could love me, He can love you too – and He DOES.

 

In the summer – spring of 2004 I was going through a painful divorce and moved to Philadelphia, PA. I was new in my walk with Christ and didn’t know alot about the Bible but I was determined to learn. I sought God with all my heart and soul. On my way to Church one evening I got a thought. That thought was that God didn’t love me. That I wasn’t good enough, that God didn’t want me in Church as that was meant for better people. That there is no hope for me and that I was cast away by God … my Father.

 

I couln’t believe it and it still brings tears to my eyes. As I sat in Church this awful thought kept going over and over in my mind. Not wanting to offend God with my presence in his Church – I got up to leave. Church had only been in session for about 10 minutes and I felt unwelcomed, like a reject. The Minister’s wife followed me outside, she asked, “Were are you going?”

I told her that I was going home. It was akward as I had just gotten there. My little girl started crying and asked if she could stay. I told her to stay – But I was leaving. The Minister’s wife tried hard to get me to stay but I felt she didn’t and could not understand the rejection I felt in my soul. So I told her that I was leaving for reasons she wouldn’t understand. It was quite the scene outside that Church. My daughter still crying and saying, “MOMMMY please stay in Church! Come Back Mommy! Don’t leave!”  My family took her back in the building and they all went back inside as I kept on walking home.

 

My oldest daughter followed me, I told her to go back but she wouldn’t leave me. So we walked in silence together. I was offended and angry and she was sad and crying. I kept getting a thought to pray – over and over and over. But I ignored it. I passed another Church and there was a man standing at the door inviting me in to the Church. I just ignored him and kept on walking. In the back ground hearing him murmur “Oh my gosh.”

 

I felt badly as I try not to be a rude person, but I knew that he wouldn’t comprehend what I was going through.

 

Still the feeling to call God came more strongly this time. Finally giving in and deciding to pray this was what I said to God:

 

I left the Church because I felt that you didn’t want me there. It’s ok – because I know that your Judgement is true and just. However, I am NOT going to stop being nice and delivering Bibles. BECAUSE it makes me HAPPY. I wont offend you anymore by entering your home.

 

Suddenly – I felt a heaviness all around me. Time actually stopped. Cars stopped moving and people stood frozen in time. I saw sound waves in front of my eyes. There was a connection between my heart and what happened next. A voice spoke and I felt electrocuted in my chest. That soft voice from the sky said, ” I would NEVER  leave you nor forsake you!”  That soft voice shook the earth-  literally – the earth shook beneath my feet. I knew that He could be heard for miles and miles.

 

I nodded and looked at my feet. Everything returned to normal. People and cars started to move again. There was no shock, but acceptance of what He said and who HE is. Later though…I was rejoicing at the love and majesty of The Almighty God. He took His time to talk to me? YES to me! ME! I could have run a marathon and still have strength to worship. Jesus took the time to talk to me…like He did to the people in the Bible. I have explained this in the best way I can. Literal with every feeling and word.

 

That friends, still humbles me. It still brings me strength and it brings my children strength.

 

I was new to the area and didn’t know the way home, but I got there with out getting lost.

 

This I share with you, not to say that I’m special or anything. But to bring you strength. I’m just like you.

 

If He would NEVER  leave me nor forsake me – Then HE would NEVER  leave you nor forsake you.

 

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Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” Hebrews 13:5